The Dog....Giggle Thread

[redcanary]

I read this on another forum and just had to share....I think its so funny and just sums dogs up nicely.


Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my
testicles back?


Jean xx

[loulousweetie84]

lmao oh thats hilarious too, im in fits!!!!!!
they are great, i think they should be put up in my vets!!!
laura

[redcanary]

And another one..........

The Dogs Party

The dogs all had a party
They came from near and far.
Some dogs came by taxi
And some dogs came by car.

Each dog signed his name
Upon a special book
And each dog hung his bum hole
Upon a special hook.

One dog was not invited,
And this aroused his ire.
He stormed into the party
And loudly shouted "FIRE!"

In the scene that followed,
The dogs forgot to look
And grabbed just any bum hole
From off of any hook.

And that is why when dogs roam
On land or sea or foam,
They sniff each others' bum holes,
To try and find their own!



Jean xx

[sweetie]

oh that's the reason behind it

[loulousweetie84]

thats excellent!!!!!!!!!!